Q. There has been at least 2 times that I thought I was in love but it didn’t work out. Sometimes I wonder if I missed out on my soulmate or if there is more than one possible soulmate for me. Does God have one soulmate picked out for each of us or is it a decision that we make using common sense? Tracey
A. At a very young age, I decided that I wanted to get married and have kids. Let’s just say, I was 19 or 20 ish. Throughout my journey to marriage, there were several bumps and bruises along the way.
Bad choices.
Messy relationships.
Messy breakups.
Messy heartbreaks.
I wasn’t mature in my relationship with God. And because of that, instead of praying and listening, I allowed my emotions to lead the way.
I didn’t acknowledge God in any of my ways, because as an immature Christian, I really didn’t know that He wanted to be involved in those parts of my life. I thought His job was to punish us for sin and to give us what we want.
But He’s so much bigger than that.
Some decisions that we make don’t matter to God. For instance, if I choose to wear a burgundy dress with orange shoes, I doubt God would care because that’s not a life changing decision. It may change your opinion of me : ) but it’s not a threat to my purpose, safety, health or well-being.
Other decisions that we make, can change the outcome of our lives. They totally matter to God. He wants to be involved, but He won’t force his will on us. He won’t compete with our emotions, selfish motives or head knowledge.
For example, your career path. There are thousands of educational choices, jobs, corporations and vocations to choose from. Some of them would change the outcome of your life so much so, that you wouldn’t be able to fulfill God’s purpose for you.
If you’re choosing between a prestigious job in a new city and staying where you are, that’s a life changing decision. You would have to quit your current job, sell or pack up everything, relocate, find a new home and start over. So many things could go wrong throughout the process. God wants to be involved in that decision because it’s life-changing. It could affect His purpose and plan for you.
Marriage is also one of those decisions.
It’s life changing. It can make you or break you physically, financially, emotionally and spiritually. I believe that God absolutely wants to be involved and if you surrender (give up what you want in exchange for what He wants for you) your desires to Him, you can’t lose.
Most of the people who have gone through ugly divorces are not ashamed to admit that there was something in their gut telling them NOT to marry that person. They knew something was wrong, yet they ignored it because they had already devoted 4 years of lives to the relationship. They were in love and had already sent the invitations out.
That gut feeling was God telling them ‘no.’ And I’m more than sure that it was there long before the invitations were sent out.
I can’t say whether or not God has ONE specific soulmate picked out for each one of us, but I can say that He gives us the desires of our heart if we delight ourselves in him. I can say that He will order our steps and give us wisdom if we ask Him.
I can say that He knows everything about us, therefore He knows who will be best suited, or not, as a marriage partner for us. He also knows who’s ready to take on the responsibility of marriage or not.
I suggest that you start by making a list and checking it twice. Pray about it, then surrender it to God. Even though you know what you want, God knows what you need.
