Kudos to you.
When life handed you lemons, you wasted no time making lemonade and selling it for a profit.
You’re smart, driven and strong.
You work hard for everything you have. It’s the reason you’re so successful in every endeavor of life. You’ve climbed the ladder of success and that’s where you stand,
Alone.
At some point of standing there, it dawns on you that you should be successful in your relationships too.
After all, you’re a good catch. What man wouldn’t want a woman who can bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan?
But each failed relationship, leaves you wondering: why a secure, mature, macho man would be intimidated by your success?
What is this intimidation that you speak of?
The male definition of intimidation is totally different than how women define it.
In fact, if men had their say, they wouldn’t call it intimidation at all.
They would call it masculine aggression coming from women who are arrogant, prideful, controlling and competitive— words that make them feel like they’re being challenged by their colleagues at work. It’s definitely not something that they want from the one person they’re trying to build a life with.
When they come home, they want to take the gloves off.
They would further describe these women who give off a vibe that says:
- “I’m smarter than you.”
- “I’m better than you.”
- “I must be in control.”
- “I don’t need you.”
These vibes make them feel like there’s no reason to stick around because it’s not possible to add value to her life.
That may be fine for a guy who is willing to settle for being an arm piece, but not for the guy who feels he has more to offer.
And whether we like it or not, the average guy is wired to add value.
Let’s compare your life to a well-put together outfit. You have a bracelet and a scarf that make the outfit look good, but if you take them off, your outfit could still survive.
But your shoes are a necessity. You can’t leave the house without them. They protect your feet from the elements. They keep your feet warm, clean and dry. And furthermore, the right shoes can make or break your outfit.
The average man wants to be the shoes that complete your outfit.
He prefers to be a necessity rather than an accessory.
Are men intimidated by strong, successful women?
No. I don’t think so.
But they are turned off by women who reject their value, compete with them, and criticize their efforts. From the male perspective, those are all masculine vibes that they can get from their friends, co-workers and over-bearing mothers.
And just to be fair: women are turned off by men who are all of those things too.
No one wants to be in a relationship with someone they perceive to be a controlling, know-it-all, perfectionist who has made it their life’s mission to fix everything that’s wrong with us.
Let me paint a different picture for you.
Imagine a guy who cries while watching chick-flicks. He can never make his mind up without your help. He’s afraid to check out the strange noises in the night, after all, he could get hurt. He will not so much as change a light bulb not to mention a flat tire because he may break a nail.
Would you or any of your friends be willing to go out with him?
Likewise, men don’t want to be with women who they perceive to give off masculine energy any more than women want to be with men they perceive to give off soft, feminine energy.
But when I hear women justify a breakup by saying the guy was intimidated by her, I know that her definition of intimidation is how he defines masculine aggression—something he doesn’t want from her.
However they define it and whatever it means to them, most men want to be “the man” when they’re with a woman.
They want to be in a relationship with a nurturing, encouraging woman who doesn’t have to turn everyday conversation into a hen pecking order in order to inspire them to be their best.
“I’m confident and I know what I want. Why should I have to change for a man?”
It’s not that you have to change, but it’s necessary to soften your approach.
Instead of insisting that things be done your way, try asking for his opinion or asking for his help. Try compromising.
What you’re doing now is the equivalent of putting diesel gas in your Ford Mustang even after the manufacturer has advised you to use unleaded.
You’re self-sabotaging.
Sure it would be nice if Ford changed their fuel tanks to match your preference, but it’s probably not going to happen anytime soon.
Men are asking us to use unleaded gas.
Diesel is too harsh.
The fact that you like diesel doesn’t change the truth of it: your relationship will never run efficiently on it. It will eventually crash and burn.
I do hereby challenge you to do something different only if you want something different. If you’re happy with the way your love life is going, then keep up the good work.
